Updated: Dec 10, 2019
"The anxiety you feel in your relationship is the symptom, but trust is the issue"
The thought of anxiety is not a pleasant one, I know it really well; I've been there.
And while right now I’m far from those feelings and thoughts, I can totally relate to them, so I thought to myself: “How is it possible that I became such an anxiety-free person in my relationship even after being in so many terrible relationships that could have turned me into a nutty and never trust a man ever again” and “how can anyone achieve that as well?”
Here are the two things I did and you can do too, to trust again and start liberating yourself from relationship anxiety.
The first thing is to trust yourself.
Sounds easy as it really is. I know that anxiety comes often when you start feeling emotionally involved with another human being and that is the point, you start to put so much attention on the other person that you forget yourself.
Therefore before you even think about being in a relationship, you have to trust yourself. Trust that you are enough and that if someone is not really interested in you, it has nothing to do with you.
You need to have a wonderful relationship first and foremost with yourself. Focus on the relationship you have with yourself on a daily basis; on your mental habits, on your beliefs, but also on what you do and what you say (the how you say it and how you do it is massively important), and of course on what you don’t do and what you don’t say to yourself as well.
All the energy you spend worrying and overthinking about your relationship could be used to your advantage! How? Turn that energy to help you get out of the pattern of anxiety in a conscious manner, re-focus that energy by practicing self-love, self-compassion, self-respect, self- (fill in with anything positive here).
Never lose sight of the most important person: YOU! Note that self-compassion is not self-pity! Self-compassion is to be your best friend, your best ally. Being compassionate is being kind with the words you say to yourself; with the thoughts you have about you and the world around you but also with the actions you take that affect your body. Being compassionate is being kind with your physical and emotional being.
Self-compassion is a powerful tool. Once you start practicing it your world improves exponentially.
Become a woman that knows herself well, that knows what she wants and know how to get it. A woman that feels inspired to grow constantly, a woman that appreciates her life, a woman that is a daily positive warrior.
In short, you become a dream woman and attract all the blessings you deserve in your life.
The second thing you have to do is trust your partner.
To be able to trust your partner you have 3 major responsibilities:
1. Chose your partner wisely from the beginning
Take your time; don’t rush to start a relationship with the first cutie that sends you flowers. Filter him well, so you don’t start to worry about him later.
When you chose wisely all the doubts are gone. Your mind stops worrying and questioning all the time: Is he trustworthy? Is he truthful? Is he loyal? Is he honest? Is he really into me? Is he really interested in me? Does he really love me? Does he mean what he said? Does he find me attractive? Does he feel more attracted to other women? Is he going to leave me? When is he going to leave me? Is he going to cheat on me? Is he going to be nice in the future? Is he going to love me forever? Does he find me ugly? Does he still think about his ex? Does he compare me with other women? Does he really, really, really love me? ETC… Forgive my imagination; I might have put one or two extra questions/doubts. Probably you even have more stamina and the questions/doubts can be on and on and I know how painful that can be.
2. Date like a hot restaurant. Hot restaurant?
If you haven’t read my book “The Empowered Woman's Guide To Dating ” the concept will say nothing to you, but let me make a short introduction. When you start a relationship and he’s been properly filtered and you took the decision that he’s worth your heart and your time. You still have to be very careful and take things very slow and use your feminine essence. There is actually an art on how to date a man and that’s why I have written a book to help you with that, but the best way to describe it to you in a few words is: Takes things ultra slow and be a dream woman.
By taking things very slowly you can build a more meaningful relationship with him before you get too deep with your feelings and thoughts of a future together, don’t over think the relationship, enjoy it, be more casual, be happy, be positive and trust there is someone right for you.
3. Have the right attitude in your relationship
Now, this is also a big component and is an ongoing process. Actually, to have an amazing relationship, you are always working on this third responsibility, but don’t worry when you took your first two responsibilities at heart and diligently your life gets really simple and enjoyable. The loving partner you have always dreamed of is actually living with you, and your most common question is: Am I dreaming?
So how can you have the right attitude to get that wonderful relationship? I called it CCS short for Connection Communication Style. In short, we can define it as the YIN and the YANG of a person and to learn more about both sides and how to handle them. Because I know how important this subject is I have dedicated a big part of my research to it. Seriously, to write here about the CCS would mean to transcript a third of my book second book “The Empowered Woman's Guide to Better RELATIONSHIPS” (Book coming soon).
There is so much to talk about it. On the book, I provide you with strategies to fix most of the common issues that arise in almost all couples in regards to communication and expectations.
Re-focus all the negative energy that anxiety gives you and start applying it to taking responsibility for your life. Don’t let things to luck!
You know that if you trust yourself and you trust your partner, you can forget the unnecessary anxiety and enjoy a loving and healthy relationship!
In short, this is how you rebuild your trust and enjoy your love life
Trust yourself. You do it by becoming a dream woman
Choose your partner wisely from the beginning
Date like a hot restaurant
Have the right attitude in your relationship
Lovely, if you’re ready to take full responsibility for your love life and want to finally attract and enjoy the love life you’ve always wanted, and take all the guesswork out, join the list of my upcoming course LOVE MASTERY.
This course will show you all the strategies to once and for all master your love life!
"I just know that if I wouldn't have taken full responsibility for my love life, nothing would have changed. I’d probably still feeling anxious and distrustful."
To your amazing love life,